I know, I know. It has been two weeks since I said I was going to pick word of the year. In just a few days January will be over and the first month of the year will officially be over. But it has been a difficult two weeks (cold outside, roommate negotiations, cold inside my apartment= bad, then I got sick . . . ) and though I may not be officially declaring my word until now, the brainstorming and selection focus have already helped me center myself through the madness that is my life right now. It shouldn’t be any other way, as long as I can keep learning from it.
Without further ado, I have picked: “CORE FLOW.”
That’s two words, you might say. But as my mom reminded me recently, who cares what the rules are? Make up your own word. And since I feel like focusing on my personal growth needs to be radical at times, why not include a little rule-breaking on the ground level?
When I heard the word “flow,” I immediately felt that it was the right focus for this year of my life. It’s going to be a year with more changes, more decisions to make, more new situations to negotiate and feel out. That all takes time. it doesn’t change all at once like stepping across a literal threshold (although I am obsessed with thresholds) but in a slow, gradual process. My goal with this word is to embrace that journey. It does not mean always “going with the flow.” For me, it means listening to and watching the flow of my own life. It means being patient with myself and observing the situation until I know and feel how to move forward.
I thought “flow” would be my only word this year. But then I was at yoga this morning doing core work. Core work isn’t really about just using your abs and doing crunches. As Wally was teaching us, it’s about rewiring the way we breathe and move in many ways. It’s about accessing the strength that’s already there. Sometimes, it means I’m only weak because the way I’m looking at the situation, my perspective.
And it also means that this “flow” of life is always circling back to me. I have a hard time saying that; it feels selfish, self-centered. I am beginning to see that it doesn’t have to be. I am beginning to learn through the meditation books I am reading and through the new ways I am practicing prayer and meditation that in order to be a caring, compassionate person, I have to take care of myself. I do care for the people around me and always have–the artist in me is constantly reading the moods and needs of the characters I encounter–but usually by sacrificing my perspective. It exhausts me and leaves little energy for the plays and other creations I want to make and give back to the world. At the end of the day, I’m also single, just a year out of undergraduate, and in a new country. Why not take a little time now before career, friends, family, etc take over?
Why not center this year on core flow?